The secret of happy people is not that they don’t experience negative feelings, they just know to get out of that state as quickly as possible.

Here’s what helped me to become the control my emotions  little better. It requires a high level of awareness. Now you need to know that I am still learning, in fact I think it is a life’s task to become master of your emotions, but the earlier you start the more you grow.

Here are the 5 steps to liberation/mastery of negative emotions:

1. Recognize it.
2. Accept it.
3. Don’t think about it.
4. Don’t judge or analyze it.
5. Just observe.

Let’s do an example together so you get what I mean.
My mom criticized me lately for not being organized enough. “Christian, we’re disappointed in you and your lack of organization you showed while your move TO…….”
This made me feel guilty and angry at myself. I felt I was not satisfying my parents expectations. I felt not enough. I really hate that feeling, especially towards my parents (who doesn’t?!).

Back at that time I read a book that reminded me of the 5 steps above so I got to that awareness (sometimes you need a friend or a neutral observer to point that out to you).

1. So I recognized the feeling of “not enough”
2. I accepted it. Just see that it’s there.
3. I didn’t think about it.
(don’t ask why etc. just accept)
4. I didn’t judge or analyze it
(this is what we tend to do the first thing when we are emotionally involved, we judge – and this is where all misery comes from – we judge it to be bad so we put ourselves in a negative state of mind. We need to stop judging everything, it’s all okay, it’s all part of your journey – just accept it, surrender)
5. I just observed
(now I needed a book to remind me of that fact, so you can imagine how hard this is during an emotional conflict to be so present and aware and to do the first step without a reminder)

I hope these 5 steps help you to become a happier human being and a master of your emotions, because you are already pretty beautiful. Don’t believe me?
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